The Self-Esteem Pyramid, a powerful tool for self-realization
November 27, 2023
According to figures from various official entities, such as the World Health Organization (WHO), almost 800,000 suicides are recorded worldwide each year.
That alarming figure, however, is just the tip of the iceberg. Why? Because behind every suicide that was completed there are a multitude of failed attempts; so many that it is impossible to count them.
The fourth cause of death for young people between 15 and 29 years old, a period of life that we understand as a happy stage, is suicide. However, for many people it is not like that. In fact, rather, it is the moment when they can no longer bear the heavy burden that drives them to make the tragic decision to take their own life. It is a terrible tragedy!
Many of these cases are people who entered into deep crises due to their inability to cope with the stresses of life. Which ones? Economic problems, relationship breakups or chronic pain and illnesses, as well as being part of vulnerable and discriminated groups. The worst thing, do you know what the worst thing is? That there is a common thread.
Do you know what it is? They were people with low self-esteem. People who, furthermore, did not receive the support or attention they needed and succumbed to the weight of their illnesses. The most serious thing, I repeat, is that this is just the tip of the iceberg: there are millions of people in the world with low self-esteem who struggle intensely against its manifestations.
What are these manifestations?
Insecurity Indecision Anxiety Negative/destructive self-talk Emotional dependency Need for external approval Different fears (and levels of fear) Fear of failure Comparing oneself to others Feelings of inferiority and guilt Distrust Inability to manage emotions Alteration in eating, sleeping, and/or sexual behavior Isolation
And there are more, of course, but these are the main ones, the most common ones.
Difficulties that were hidden for a long time, but that with recent events have surfaced, have become visible. Mental health, which has always been a Cinderella, is today one of the greatest concerns of experts and a serious threat to human beings.
Self-esteem, perhaps you know, is the ability to recognize the value we have as human beings, despite our defects. Recognizing value, on the one hand, and on the other accepting ourselves as we are, knowing that life also gives us the necessary tools to improve, to learn, without excuses. The problem is that we do not use them.
In practice, self-esteem is reflected through the opinion we have about ourselves, the judgments we make about ourselves and the value we give ourselves as people. When we talk about self-esteem, we refer to an attitude inward, since it is a process of introspection related to the way we think, love, feel and behave.
Self-esteem shapes our personality, sustains it and gives it meaning. That is why, precisely for that reason, it is so important to cultivate it, to nourish it continuously. How? We must get rid of fears, limiting beliefs, take care of the internal dialogue and, above all, cut off emotional dependence and stop paying attention to the opinion of others.
How to improve self-esteem, how to strengthen it? These are some simple actions that will help you:
1.- Change the internal dialogue. Fundamental. Negative self-criticism, lack of acceptance and focusing only on the negative aspects of your personality will lead you to generate self-destructive thoughts all the time. In other words, your brain will be your worst enemy, fertile ground for consolidating those harmful habits and behaviors that harm your self-esteem
2.- Lower your expectations. It is not about being conformist or mediocre, but about understanding that life is a process, that certain steps must be taken and, above all, that it is not, as many think, a competition. You do not have to beat anyone, prove anything to anyone. Also, assume that you are not perfect and that as a human being you are fallible
3.- Don’t punish yourself. “To err is human, to correct is divine,” the saying goes. The key lies in learning from the lesson that each error incorporates and understanding that what we call failure is only a part of the process, not the result of the process. The important thing is not whether you fell many times, but how many of them you got up and kept going
4.- Change what you can. Yes, because great transformations are the result of the sum of small changes. Address an aspect of your life that you want to change, that is easy to change, and when you have achieved the objective, move on to another more challenging one. And so on. Do you understand? Also, try not to start this path alone: seek help
Now, and this is certainly good news, there are other tools that can be used to cultivate self-esteem and strengthen it in the long term. One of them is the Self-Esteem Pyramid, a methodology created by the Mexican psychologist and psycholinguist Mauro Rodríguez Estrada, a university professor with more than 50 published books.
“Man is capable of choosing his personal attitude in the face of any challenge or set of circumstances and thus deciding his own path. What man becomes, he must become by himself. Self-esteem has been called the key to personal success, because that ‘self’ is sometimes hidden and submerged in unconsciousness or ignorance,” says Rodríguez.
The Self-Esteem Pyramid represents the journey of the human being in the process of personal growth and development of the individual. Communication and self-acceptance are the pillars. The pyramid is made up of four blocks, and the top represents self-esteem, the maximum point of acceptance and dignity of the human being.
What are the five levels of the Pyramid of Self-Esteem? Let’s see:
1.- Self-knowledge. It is the basis for building any life project. If you don’t know who you are, what you want, where you are, what resources you have and which ones you need, and where you want to go, you will get lost along the way. No one can develop self-esteem if they don’t know themselves thoroughly, if they don’t understand that it is like a wonderful unfinished work
2.- Self-concept. It arises from the mixture of self-knowledge and acceptance. Understanding that you are not perfect, but that life has also provided you with a large number of valuable tools. Which ones? Your values, principles, gifts, talents, and the skills that you will develop throughout life. What you think of yourself will determine your destiny
3.- Self-evaluation. One of the most difficult tasks that any human being faces, without a doubt. A process that, in addition, must be carried out periodically since we constantly change through the knowledge acquired, the experiences we live, the lessons we receive from mistakes. The key is honesty
4.- Self-acceptance. This can only occur to the extent that you have overcome the three previous levels. It is admitting and recognizing all parts of ourselves as a reality, a fact, and recognizing our way of being and feeling. By accepting oneself as one is, the person can transform what is transformable. Only in this way can one build their best version
5.- Self-esteem. The top of the pyramid. It is only reached when a person knows, accepts, respects themselves and, in addition, has a scale of values and develops their abilities. Having high self-esteem is feeling good, valuable, capable of establishing adequate, harmonious and enriching human relationships, as well as productive communication
Why should we all develop self-esteem?
People with high self-esteem are self-confident, have decision-making power,
have a sense of purpose, a vision about their future and what they can offer the world. They feel important, are aware of their abilities and are committed to doing something worthwhile, leaving a legacy in the world.
Something you should not overlook: it is not convenient to idealize self-esteem, that is, to believe that it will solve all our problems or that, once you have developed it, you are a perfect person. Self-esteem is a process that only ends the day you die and, like a plant, requires care every day. If you do not cultivate it, it will die.
Likewise, you should know that self-esteem is determined, to a large extent, by the environment that surrounds you, those environments in which your life develops.
Therefore, you must be careful with who you surround yourself with, what kind of people you allow into your life. Finally, it is okay to make mistakes: it is always possible to correct the course of your life.
The terrible reality of so many people who make the drastic decision to end their lives, whatever the reason, is a double invitation. First, to reflection because it is a wake-up call for those who needed help and did not get it; second, to action, because happiness, abundance and prosperity are the offspring of self-esteem.
